Welcome back to the "Say this/Not that" series. I began this series as a way for educators and families to empower the vocabularies and self-esteem of their young ones.

 I know we’re all busy. That’s why this series gives you just one word or phrase a day, because language matters, and so do the messages we send with it.

Today’s phrase?

“You’re too young to understand.”

You may have said it with good intentions, maybe even to protect them, but what research shows is that this phrase can actually shut down curiosity and self-trust.

In fact, children often start asking “why” questions before age two. And by age three, many are driven by what developmental scientists call “explanation-seeking curiosity.” This is a superpower we don’t want to dim.

When we say “you’re too young,” we’re not making things simpler, we’re telling them their thoughts don’t matter.

The good news? We can shift the message without complicating things.

Let’s dive in 👇 

What This Phrase Teaches (That We Don’t Mean to Teach)

• That their questions are wrong

• That their feelings are too much

• That silence is safer than curiosity

• That their voice doesn’t matter until they’re older

  

  ☑️ 1. “Never mind…” moments

   They begin to stop themselves mid-question or trail off, assuming you won’t answer.

  ☑️ 2. Shrinking curiosity

   They ask fewer deep questions, even when they’re clearly thinking deeply. (This is especially common after being shut down multiple times.)

  ☑️ 3. Saying “I don’t get it” as a defense

   Some kids pretend not to care or understand to avoid feeling dismissed again.

  ☑️ 4. Hesitating to express ideas or opinions

   They might second-guess themselves, look for your approval before speaking, or seem less confident sharing new thoughts.

  

  How to Talk About It (By Age)

  Ages 3–5

  “You’re asking a really smart question. Let me tell you a little about it.”

   Ages 6–8

  “That’s a big idea, and you’re ready to explore it. Let’s break it down.”

  Ages 9+

   “Some topics are complex, but I’ll always explain them in a way you can understand.”

Kids' questions matter and they deserve answers.

Keep Evolving!

Gahmya