I began this series as a way for educators and families to empower the vocabularies and self-esteem of their young ones.

I get that we’re all busy. That’s why it’s just one word or phrase a day. Because sometimes a single phrase, especially when repeated, can shape a child’s entire sense of self.

And today’s phrase is one we’ve probably all heard.
Maybe we’ve even said it.

“Stop acting like a girl.”
“Stop acting like a boy.”

It usually shows up in moments when a child is expressing something we don’t quite know how to handle. A boy cries. A girl shouts. A kid moves through the world in a way that doesn’t match an adult’s expectation.

But when we correct a child by linking behavior to gender, we aren’t guiding, we’re shaming.

We’re telling them there’s something wrong with who they are.

Let’s dive in 👇 

What This Phrase Teaches (That We Don’t Mean to Teach)

But here’s what kids are really being told:

“Your feelings aren’t okay.”

“Your identity is wrong.”

“You need to change to be accepted.”

The Harm These Phrases Can Do 

• Shames identity: Instead of focusing on behavior, it links worth and personality to gender.

• Creates confusion and pressure: Kids start to question if their natural reactions are wrong.

• Reinforces stereotypes: Boys should be tough, girls should be quiet, and anything else is “too much.”

☑️ Kids who use gendered teasing toward each other

 ☑️ Children who feel ashamed of emotion or energy

 ☑️ Reluctance to cry, express joy, or take risks

Let’s raise kids who know they are more than boxes and roles, who can cry without shame, lead without apology, play without limits, and speak without fear of being told they’re “too much” or “not enough” for who they are.

The goal is to raise humans who know they are allowed to be exactly who they are.

And that starts with what we say.