Last week, I launched the beginning of our Say This / Not That series. Thank you for being here and for building this village together. This is more than just language; it's about nurturing the future by being intentional with the words we speak around the young people in our lives.

Before I share more lessons from the series, I want to tell you a story inspired by a recent visit to my hometown in North Carolina.

Family is our greatest blessing.

A recent opportunity to contribute to Beyonce's Cowboy Carter project also brought me back to the US. But truthfully, the most healing part of this trip has been the time I have spent with my family.

Being surrounded by people who knew me before I ever had a title or a platform always grounds me. It fills the cracks in ways I do not always realize I needed.

The thing about family is they often provide our greatest lessons.

Whenever I visit, I tend to spend a lot of time with the teenage boys in our family. It was never planned, but over time, I noticed how open they become during those small windows of conversation. And I treasure it.

This time, something interesting happened.

My younger cousin C just graduated from middle school and is preparing to begin ninth grade. C is tall, soft-spoken, and thoughtful. During one of our conversations, he admitted he was nervous about starting high school. I could feel the weight of what he was carrying.

It reminded me of a moment years ago when one of my kindergarten students shared his anxiety about entering first grade. Different stages. Same fear. Because beginnings, no matter how old we are, often feel scary.

C said something that stopped me:
"Sometimes, when I am nervous, it may seem like I'm angry.  Or I just shut down."

And my heart sank a little.

Because I started to wonder: When C walks into that high school, will his teachers see a nervous boy still figuring things out, or will they only see a tall Black boy and choose judgment over grace?

So here is my ask:

Whether you are a parent, teacher, or mentor, please be the adult who makes space for kids to be unsure. To be quiet. To still be learning.

Offer an ear. A conversation. Some grace. Maybe even all three.

And if you ever encounter a big Black boy like my cousin C in your classroom, please offer him a soft place to land. He is still learning. And honestly, so are we.

Tools You Can Use This Week:

Here are three powerful ways to support kids during times of change:

1. Ask Feeling Questions Instead of Fact Questions
Instead of “How was school?” try:

• “What part of today made you feel proud?”

• “What moment today made you feel nervous?”
  These questions help build emotional vocabulary and open the door to real conversations.

2. Use a Sentence Starter
“I noticed you seemed ___ when ___. Do you want to talk about it or just sit together for a bit?”
This lets them know they are seen and that it is safe to open up without pressure.

3. Let Them Know You Are Still Becoming, Too
Say: “I am still learning how to handle my feelings, too.”
This normalizes emotional growth. It builds trust and teaches that learning does not end with adulthood.

A Final Love Note

If no one has told you lately, you are doing sacred work.

Whether you are parenting, teaching, mentoring, or simply showing up for a child in your life, thank you.

They do not need perfection.
They need presence.
And you are showing up.

Keep evolving. Keep offering grace.
Keep giving young people a soft place to land.
Especially the quiet ones. Especially the nervous ones. Especially the ones still finding their voice.

With heart,
Gahmya
Forever Growing. Forever Evolving.